New computer models of T. rex's and other dinosaurs’ running abilities indicate that the big suckers could hit a running speed of 18 miles per hour at pace. Phil Manning of the University of Manchester told Discovery News that 18 mph (about a half a mile per hour faster than a fit human’s top speed) was a “conservative” figure, and said that for his next trick, he’d show how T. rex could run even faster “if pushed to the limit.” No word on what pushes a T. rex to the limit, but I’m guessing it has nothing to do with Mountain Dew or snowboarding.

So if a T. rex could outrun sassy chaos theorist Dr. Ian Malcolm, then fat computer programmer Dennis Nedry never stood a chance. His erstwhile devourers are in fact the fastest of the dinos modelled by Manning’s team: Compsognathus, a turkey-sized little powerhouse, could hit speeds of 39.8 mph no problem. In fact, the team found a general correlation between size and speed: the bigger it is, the slower.

So if you’re being chased by a T. rex, run your fastest and get to someplace where his nubby little arms can’t reach. But don’t try to trip him—while a previous study by paleontologist James Farlow showed that a T. rex going at 40 mph would be killed by a conveniently-placed banana peel, one going between 10 and 25 mph “would still probably have gotten hurt, but tripping would not have resulted in death,” according to Daniel Brinkman of the Peabody Museum at Yale. Sounds like a roadrunner/coyote cartoon.

Video (and inane commentary) courtesy of Discovery News.